Meditation from a friend
This was a nice piece of advice written by a friend of mine. All credit goes to Kenzo Keophakdy. Smart man, he is helping me out along with a few others. here is the piece he wrote.
Meditation is basically a training method for your mind.
When certain things happen to you, your mind generates a certain response
whether it be happiness, frustration, anger ect. The way your mind has been
inculcated is the path of least resistance and the path it wants to take, and
will take unless you know how to mitigate it. Meditation teaches you how and
makes it easier to override the process. Who is doing the overriding of this
process? Well, that's the million dollar question. But I digress.
So here's what I'm getting at: if meditation is too easy,
you're doing something wrong. You might be getting yourself really relaxed, but
is it possible that's all you're doing? Not saying it is. I don't know, just
throwing some ideas out there and it's up to you to see if any seem to fit your
situation.
But as you meditate, your mind wants to grab onto the
thoughts and not your breath. The course of least resistance is away from your
breath and back into whatever thoughts are vying for your attention. Every time
you go back to the breath, you train or teach yourself even, to take the
opposite of the path of least resistance. This is coupled with the fact that
half the time when you meditate, your mind says, "I'm tired. Stop
concentrating on the breath and just kick back and let a guided meditation do
most of the work." But every time this comes up you learn to drop it by
returning to the breath and not listening to the thought no matter how loud and
powerful it can get.
When you first start meditating you have this thought and
then come back to the breath. But there's still a trace of this thought
floating around in your mind and eventually it pulls you in again. As soon as
you realize your back in that thought again, you turn your awareness back to
the breath and away from the thought. But then it pulls you in again. And then
you drop it again. You do this over and over and over. But as you practice you
get better and better and faster and faster at recognizing it. You start to
figure out how to do it most efficiently and quickly, seeing and dropping
thoughts before they even become thoughts at all.
After doing this hour after hour, you gain a skill. One day
you realize that you don't have to be sitting on a cushion to use this skill. I
can't really explain how it's done, but it's just something you learn from
continually focusing, coming back to, and holding your attention on the breath.
It's like if you ever do a lot of push-ups, eventually you will realize,
"I can flex my pecs." You couldn't flex them before, and you don't
really know how you learned to do it, but now you can just do it.
So when I'm driving down the street and I get cut off, this
magnetic, powerful idea pulls at my attention. But I've done this so many times
before in my meditation sessions. It's not my first time at the rodeo. I know
how to just drop it. I don't need to take that path of least resistance into
anger because I have had so much practice choosing not to just take the path of
least resistance and get pulled into the thoughts. That said, just because I'm
better at dropping a thought process doesn't mean I always choose to. In fact,
I still get irritated a lot, but not usually right after meditation.
I think it's more than just being better able to drop
unhelpful thoughts. I think it stems form the fact that after you do this
process with literally every thought you have and put hours and hours of
practice in, your mind almost has this other mode where its immediate reaction
is not to get pulled into the thought processes or emotions, but just to let it
float by. This is how I feel after a meditation session. It's like my mind is
so used to not letting ANY thought or emotion draw me in and start the thought
process, that it takes a whole hell of a lot to produce an idea or thought
magnetic enough to pull my mind into the old environmental trigger and thought
process response mode.
This is why it's odd to me that after a meditation session,
you feel like you let thoughts and emotions affect you more. You're mind should
still at least semi-be in the letting thoughts and emotions go mindset.
Also, it sounds like you have a lot of stress in your life.
Is there anything you can do about that? If I had that kind of stress, it would
certainly be hard for me to get out of the thought process and have productive
sessions. Not to say you can't. You definitely can, but it just makes it that
much harder -- but also that much more rewarding when you can silence the
stress.
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